I'm Learning, Not Cured

I’m still fighting food

This is probably the part I most want to be honest about.

I haven’t defeated my relationship with food.

I haven’t suddenly developed perfect discipline.

I haven’t stopped craving things.

I haven’t stopped thinking:

Ooh, that looks good.

I still have to fight the urge to eat things because they’re there.

I still have to fight the instinct to finish food because I’ve paid for it.

I still sometimes have to sit there while my brain pesters me about something in the kitchen.

And sometimes I give in.

That’s part of the process.

The difference is that I’m beginning to recognise what’s happening.

Before, I might simply have thought:

I’m hungry.

Now I can sometimes stop and ask:

Am I actually hungry, or do I just want this?

That doesn’t guarantee I’ll say no.

But at least I’m having the right argument.

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What Mounjaro has and hasn’t done

Mounjaro has helped me.

There’s no doubt about that.

It has reduced the physical hunger enough that I can go longer without eating and feel satisfied with less food.

It has helped me experience what genuine fullness feels like.

It has created opportunities to break some of my old habits.

But it hasn’t done the whole job.

It hasn’t removed food from my brain.

It hasn’t eliminated cravings.

It hasn’t magically installed willpower.

It hasn’t made every decision easy.

What it has done is give me a bit more space between wanting something and eating it.

What I do with that space is still up to me.

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I’m learning, not cured

That’s probably the most accurate way I can describe where I am.

I’m learning.

I’m learning that I don’t have to finish everything.

I’m learning that wanting something isn’t the same as needing it.

I’m learning that being able to eat more isn’t proof that I should.

I’m learning that a £50 meal doesn’t become better value because I force myself to eat another ten minutes’ worth of food.

And I’m learning that saying no to something I really want can still be fucking difficult.

Sometimes I win that argument.

Sometimes I don’t.

But at least I’m beginning to recognise the argument for what it is.

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The biggest change isn’t the number on the scales

The weight loss is obviously important.

Losing around 11 kg is not nothing.

But the most significant change so far may be something much less measurable.

I’m starting to experience food differently.

I can eat something I really enjoy.

I can be full.

I can still want more.

And sometimes I can say:

No. I’ve had enough.

That doesn’t mean I’ve conquered my demons.

Far from it.

I may have finally learned to recognise them.

Now I have to keep fighting them.

And perhaps that’s what this journey actually is.

Not finding the magical weight where everything is fixed.

Not becoming somebody who doesn’t love food.

Not winning every battle.

Just gradually getting better at choosing which battles are worth fighting — and occasionally managing to win one.

Even if the battle happens to be over two fucking roast potatoes.